Breaking Out of Our Boxes

 Originally written for The Holy Ruckus and published on August 3, 2021

In our teens and our twenties, without perhaps even realizing it, we try to discover and mold our identities. Oftentimes, we try to put ourselves into a metaphorical “box” that we really like. We receive this from our culture. I remember growing up watching shows like ‘The Real World’ which were meant to be “real” but were actually perfectly curated. The shows would purposely select “an artsy” cast member, “ a jock” or “athletic type” cast member, “a conservative” cast member and put them in a situation together to see what would happen on camera. It made for good TV because often the cast member would evolve from the label or the role that they came in with to become more than just what they had been stereotyped. 

Though this evolution tends to be the case and is one of the beautiful things about being God’s creation, we still want to put ourselves into boxes and labels. I’m sure there have been times where we have all felt unable to fit perfectly inside one of these molds. I myself have constantly struggled even within my Catholic faith with the labels we put on each other. I have always been “too liberal” for many Catholics, but “too conservative or traditional” for the secular world. I know that I’m not alone in feeling this way, but yet, it doesn’t seem like we do anything to fight these stereotypes or roles. We instead try to push people further into one box or another. 

Social media doesn’t help things. We tend to follow accounts or content creators who share our same views. These accounts then tell us further what sort of causes we should care about and what our views should be regarding certain issues. Social media has taken away some of our ability to critically think for ourselves about many things. As a media literacy teacher, most of my work is getting students to recognize what messages they are being sent, to identify any bias, and to encourage them to question and think for themselves before they accept something as truth. 

I always go back to Scripture, as well, to check myself. After all, if we call ourselves Christians, Christ should be our model- not what a conservative TV host says or a liberal newspaper. When I look at Christ, He encourages people to be the best versions of their authentic selves, not to fit a specific “type” that He was looking for. Sometimes this required dramatic change. I think of someone like St. Paul (who I love!) who when encountering Christ’s question: “why are you persecuting me?” had a complete change of heart and direction. This, however, does not always have to be the case. Christ does not always call us to completely change our direction, just calls on us to be the best version of our own unique selves.

Even in Paul’s choice to stop his sinful behavior, Christ still chose him because of the gifts that he already possessed. Christ must’ve known that Paul had the gifts to encourage and motivate, he just redirected those gifts to be used to grow His Church instead of persecute it. I think of someone like St. Peter who continued to make mistakes throughout his time with Christ on earth, but Christ still chose Peter, with all his flaws, to be the first pope. Peter was always his authentic self with Christ. He did not fit the perfect mold of our expectations of a leader, and yet Christ chose Him to lead. 

Scripture is full of these figures who are complex and not perfect. Zaccheus (Luke 19:1-10) and Matthew (Matthew 9: 9-13) were tax collectors and considered sinners who Jesus chose specifically to dine and commune with. The Samaritan woman at the well (John 4: 4-42) had several husbands and had a very direct conversation with Jesus that would maybe make some of us blush or stand with our mouths open in disbelief. Yet, Jesus converses with her. He calls all of these people to something greater, but embraces who they are. He calls them because of their character despite their flaws. 

I think that is something we forget too often. There isn’t a “one size fits all” when it comes to these figures that Jesus calls. Their backgrounds are all different. They all have different character traits. All of their encounters with Him are unique to their own person. So why then do we try to characterize Christians into a few simple features that we all must have?

I taught at a Salesian school for five years before moving to Richmond. I learned a lot about St. Francis de Sales during my time there. One of the quotes that the school loved to teach students was: “Be who you are and be that well.” It is only part of the quote that actually reads: “Be who you are and be that well. So that you may bring honor to the Master Craftsman Whose handiwork you are.” To me, this quote means that we are all unique and speaks to the characters I’ve mentioned in Scripture as well as ourselves. We are all made by God. That is what we have in common. He has created us each in His image, but because God is so complex and cannot be contained into a few simple characteristics, so are we complex. We should embrace who God has made us to be and that uniqueness because God Himself is so intricate and multi-faceted. To try and fit into a “Christian” box is actually the opposite of who God is. So be who YOU are and be that well so that you may bring honor to the God Who made you in His complex but perfect, beautiful image.